JARRELLE MY BABYBOY THE DAY YOU WENT TO GLORY A PIECE OF ME LEFT WITH YOU IT HURTS SO MUCH NOT TO SEE YOU.I HOPE YOU ARE SMILING.

My thoughts are with you

To my baby brother

What are you doing up there

I hope you are having fun up there with our grandmoms 

I know you big now  

You know your nephews miss you alot

 They started to act like you alot

You still need to give me my blessing

You know I love you alot in miss you alot

I need a blessing and you know how bad I need it

I know you looking out for us.

love your big  brother   

It's hard to talk yet write about my little brother.  He was a loving person that could get along with anyone.  He loved his family and would do anything to make sure we were happy.  He loved seeing us together.  He would plan cookouts at other people's homes and not tell the person about it until the family statrted showing up at their house.  He was the only person that didn't have to bring anything to the cookouts.

I remember going to college and thinking that I would not be able to handle being away from my family, but my little brother made it easy.  He called me almost everynight and made sure that I came home every weekend.  He would even come down and stay with me at least once a year.

On the day, God took my litle brother I was filled with many emotions.  At first I could not believe my eyes.  I thought I was dreaming and things were not really happening.  I was screaming but I couldn't here my own cries.  I wanted to go and help my little brother, but I knew I didn't know how.  Also, to see my aunt (confusing, his mother help raise me that's why I call him my brother)  I just didn't know what to do.

After I found out the my Aunt was ok and that they still could't find Rell, I lost it.  I was angry, confused and sad.  I tried to be strong for my son, nephew, and little sister and brother. (Rell has a sister and brother)  People around me we talking but all I could do was push them away and swear.  I didn't know which way to go.  I got through my rage once I got in touch with my family.  But, that was only the beginning.

During everything I could only stay to myself and just keep quite.  I am not a very emotional person and I really don't like showing my feeling.  But, I was really hurting.  Until, this day I have not stop thinking about my brother and the things we shared.  I am often fighting with the throught that maybe I should have not been there.  But, I know Rell wouldn't have had it no other way.  He wanted those very close to his heart to see him off.  I love him and miss him.

                                      RELL

MY PRECIOUS SON. YOU MY YOUNGEST SON AND PRECIOUS IN MY SIGHT. YOU ARE A GOOD SON I WILL ALWAYS LOVE AND CHERISH YOU.

Jarrelle you took the master hand. I know you had to go.I wish I could have taken that ride for you. I wish I could of saw the sign. Rell did you know? I wonder would you have told me? Maybe I should of saw the signs. Angel did your hair on Tuesday it look so pretty you remember i told you so. I remember you was sitting in your car. That Friday July 16, 2004 and you was sitting in your car thinking when you gave up on making sure everybody going to the beach. Rell did you know? Rell I miss you so so much nobody in this world will ever know. Sometimes I wonder did you ask god to take you and don't take my moma my brother, sister, nephew, and daddy needs her. Rell did you do that? Rell I hope you didn't because I need you too. My world is not complete. Rell I will always blame myself that you are not here with us I am your mother and I always told you I would go thorough hell for you but not to jail (haha) I could not save you from that water I tried but you know that you was already in the master arms. I am so sorry nobody else did nothing to save my little boy. Maybe that was the master plan not for to save you. Jarrelle now I can't touch or fell you anymore please be strong until God come for me. I know you are doing well now. Maybe the first week you was confuse but you are fine now Jarrelle I am your moma I am going to worry about you and your siblings until I can't thank or fell for myself. I am sure you looking good in your Angel outfit. I think you look good in white. Jarrelle sometimes I worry that you are down in the wet ground. I know you are not. Just the flesh. That's when the devil get in my head. Jarrelle Please do what you are told so you can get the best of everything. Like your big wings I miss you and always will. My sweet boy.